Another Serena Williams game, another hissy fit. Her recent competition-altering outburst at the US Open got us thinking about just how uncommon such behavior is on the court – who could forget John McEnroe’s famous racket hurling back in the day? As a result, we went on a search for tennis’ greatest meltdowns – and didn’t have to look far on ye olde Google. Soon after Williams handed the Open to Clijsters, Newsweek blogger Kate Dailey comprised “Five Memorable On-Court Freakouts”. She’s got many of the classics, including Jimmy Connors getting a $20,000 fine for his challenging the judge in a crucial match against Ivan Lendl. Who could also forget McEnroe’s volcanic “You cannot be serious!” exclamation at Wimbledon in 1980. Personal fave: that Mikhail Youzhny actually managed to win a set after smashing his racquet into his head and drawing blood last year at the Miami Masters!

Opinion, however, varies wildly as to the best (i.e., most outrageous) bad-temper explosions on the court. The Tennis Channel even did a great documentary on the topic last year, “Best of 5: Temper Tantrums”, and they only duplicated one of Dailey’s choices! “Best of 5” includes Martina Hingis’ bathroom break at the 1999 French Open that defines “underhanded”; Ilie Nastase’s nasty taunting of the head umpire at the 1979 US Open that got him defaulted; two vintage McEnroe moments of bad behavior; and Jeff Tarango’s infamous incident at 1995’s Wimbledon that included his wife slapping the umpire (!) and Tarango exiting the match before it was over. “Best of 5” also provides a helpful guide to just what makes a “true tennis tantrum.” They must:
1)  Come right after perceived bad calls
2)  Take place while losing to an opponent the player believes to be inferior
3)  Incorporate the pre-requisite racquet smash
4)  Include profanity-laced diatribes.
So, anyway, while it ain’t exactly sportsmanlike, tennis tantrums do make for great TV. The great game isn’t threatening hockey for in-play scraps, but as long as there’s the untold pressure to succeed like we see in the eyes of champions like Williams, there’s always gonna be explosions that can’t be contained by the net. To tide you over until the next tennis superstar causes a racquet to meet its maker, here are some quotes via “Best of 5” that show just how low players can go when it comes to foul bawlin’:
•    “When you finish this match, watch the TV. Then come to me and say, ‘I’m sorry.’” – Fernando Gonzalez
•    “You don’t call me Nastase. You call me Mr. Nastase.” – Ille Nastase
•    “You cannot be serious! That ball was on the line. Chalk flew up!” – John McEnroe
•    “Thanks for ruining another match for me. You going to try to set the Guinness Book of World Records for f!%*ing me?” – John McEnroe
•    “Gary Muller just said to the umpire, ‘Can I get fined for what I think?’ And the umpire said no and he goes, ‘Ok, I think you’re an @$$$ole.’” – Jimmy Arias